once a girl in my biology class asked if the sun had bones
Once a girl in my spanish class asked if fish was a dairy product
once a girl in my biology class exclaimed, “i didn’t know you breathed when you were sleeping!”
Once a guy in my health class argued with the teacher for an entire period that peanut butter was a meat
once a girl in my Spanish class asked how to speak Mexican
Hi. I don't know how you found my Tumblr, but I thank the heavens that you did. I am a 16 year cis-gendered male. My sexual/romantic attraction is more confusing. Panromantic Asexual. Feel free to message me about anything. Literally, anything. (Trigger warnings for depression, suicide, most things that will need trigger warnings)
1998 Gaming Magazine
Hindsight is hilarious.
playstation: how long does it have?
into eternity and forever
Project X: is it for real?
Dreamcast: can it be stopped?
in its tracks
nintendo 64: can it survive
it could survive the seventy-fifth annual hunger games armed with nothing but a mildly rotten cantaloupe and a set of assembly instructions for an ikea desk
At the groceries store
Me: can u give me x²+4y+ of tomatoes & 2(x²+8xy^3) of potatoes please
Seller: I dont understand
Me: well i dont give a fuck i didnt study in vain
those are polynomials you asked for a neverending curve of tomatoes
My ninja Neil deGrasse Tyson roasting with truth and logic, lol.
Well, if he wants to run for office, I’d vote for him.
the slytherins making a drinking game where they take a shot every time draco malfoy talks about harry potter
also known as the night Madam Pomfrey had to save an entire dormitory from alcohol poisoning
in 5th grade i used to suck on my arm and i dont know why but it was a really bad habit of mine like how kids sucked their thumbs, i sucked on my arm and my cousin who was in like 10th grade at the time asked if i had a hickey on my arm and i didnt know what it was and i said yes and he told me i was a “playa” and i told him i liked sports
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 13
Where is 12?
So today I walked downstairs to make cereal and I see this milk. I literally say out loud: “Hey, this milk expires on the same day MCR did!” And then it HIT ME what I had said and my mom came downstairs to find me crying hysterically clutching a gallon of milk
i read this interesting fact the other day that pirates wore eye patches because they frequently transitioned from bright sunlight to darkness below deck and when they went below deck the covered eye would already be adjusted to darkness so they could immediately see really well and not have to wait for their eyes to adjust
THIS IS LEGIT THEY PROVED IT ON MYTHBUSTERS.
i learned this from a gay pirate au fanfic i read
Get it because it’s a CELL WALL
oh my god
I can never get enough Winchester code words. Also, being from the pacific northwest, my first reaction was “what the hell is a Poughkeepsie?”
I had to google it. Apparently it’s a city in New York.
What the hell happened in Poughkeepsie?
I love when we heard their code words. Like funky town. Or how if they get separated, to go to the first motel in the phone book. Can we have more Winchester secrets, please?
Winchester Secrets We Currently Know:
- Poughkeepsie: Drop everythign and run
- Funky Town: There is a gun at my head.
- If they get separated, go to the first motel in the phonebook
- Five-O: I’ve been caught, get the Hell out of here
- 11-2-83: The combination to the compartment in Baby.
"Somethings stuck to my shoe" mean you’re being followed
Back when I was younger and more ignorant and misinformed than I am now, one of my exes literally made me feel guilty sometimes when he got a boner and I didn’t want to “take care of him”. He claimed that it caused him a lot of pain and he said that his doctor had actually said he couldn’t leave himself in that state or else he could damage himself…. So made me feel like I HAD to give him relief even when I really did not desire to. And that sucked.
Wait… it DOESN’T hurt them?
Boys get boners all the time for no reason. No, it doesn’t hurt them. If any boy tries to tell you otherwise, run away as fast as you can because he’s lying to you for the sake of his penis.
No penis is more important than you because you are a whole person and a penis is just a spongy flab o’ flesh.
Hahaha deff not I get boners constantly.
Anything causes them
Favorite answer so far.
Dicks can seriously be ridiculous at times
Hell sometimes a brisk breeze can set them off
Reblogging this for all of the girls and guys that DO NOT KNOW THIS INFORMATION. Because this is extremely important.
The term ‘blue balls’ isn’t actually a fucking thing.
It was created by giant flopping douche canoes to con girls into rubbing their little dingadongs.
I literally get 10 boners a day and never get blue balls.
Next time someone tries to shame you into a handy, kick them in the balls and tell them “NOW YOU HAVE BLUE BALLS”
Sorry but, coming from a woman, “blue balls” (ie pain caused by temporary fluid congestion) can be a thing, it’s just that not all men experience it, it will not cause any damage if not “treated”, and no woman should be obliged to “relieve” a guy with this problem.